The Ekpyrotic Universe

I thought this was at your apartment and the "somebody"s were just covering your ass.

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Ditto!

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What?

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When you said "there was a fire in our kitchen" I thought you meant your apartment's kitchen, not your work's kitchen.

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Ah, I see. That begins to make some sense. I hadn't realized I'd phrased it that way, like because of the smoke inhalation.

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Joel is squeezing a goop bottle.

Joel: See the trick is is not to get any on the edges.

Tom: Hey Joel, what are Creeple People?

Joel: Oh, Creeple Peeple are these really wacky creepy people that use pencils and stuff to make their bodies and then you bring them to school, its pretty neat. Oh, hi everybody I was just teaching the bots how to make Creepy Crawlers. I found my old set and this batch is just about ready to smell. Crow, check it out.

Crow: 'sniff' 'sniff' 'sniff' Mmmmm that's good goop!

Tom: Here, I'll be the judge of that, move over. 'sniff' 'sniff' 'sniff' 'sniff' Oh it kind of smell like hot plastisol with traces of calcium zinc the FDA approved stabilizer. No how's this different than Incredible Edibles?

Joel: Uh, well incredible Edibles were the ones that you could eat so I would probably say that they were both non-toxic.

Tom/Crow: Non-toxic?

Joel: Yeah, non-toxic was what they called things when they were toys and you could eat them and it won't hurt you. There was Crayola Crayons, and Plasti-Goop and Play-Dough, and uh, just about all the breakfast cereals now that I think about it. But anyway the real thing that was dangerous about this toy was the aluminum plate that would heat up in excess of 300 degrees.

Crow: But didn't you little kinds back on Earth get burnt?

Joel: Yeah I'll say we got burnt. We got burnt all the time. It was just part of what went with the territory when you got to make your own cool plastic toys. We had a saying when I was growing up "Learn with the Creepy Crawler Maker... Burn with the Creepy Crawler Maker"

Tom: Well what happened? I mean why can't kids today play with the Thing-Maker or all the neat accessories here, like the Creepy Crawlers, or the Fun Flowers, or the Fright Factory, or the Picaboos, or the Fright Men, or the Mini-Dragons, or the EEKS!

Joel: I'll tell you why. Because some little kids wrecked it for everybody. They'd get burnt and go screaming up stairs to their mommies. The Mom's would call the FDA. The FDA would call the manufacturer, and before you could say "It's Mattel, It's swell" the great goop factories of Taiwan were shut down forever.

Tom: You know I was just reading something about that the other day. There were lots or really fun toys hauled off the market during the 60's because kids were careless.

Joel: I'll say! the Susie Homemaker Oven, The Whamo Air Blaster...

Tom: Lawn Darts.

Joel: Lawn darts, and Creepy Crawlers, the Vertibird. The list goes on and on.

Tom: Vacuform.

Crow: Poor dumb kids. They never even knew.

Joel: Well, I don't know if we can really blame the kids, Crow. You see, I really think this society is basically still crawling out of the slime, or goop, as we should say. I think the real responsibility lies with the toy designer of tomorrow.

Tom: How's that Joel?

Joel: Well, the toy designer of tomorrow responsibility is to design "Action packed, intensely interesting and affordable toys that are safe, soft and colorful". Good night.

Crow: (as Ed Wynn) and may God bless.

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Say what you will, Creepy Crawlers were delicious!

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That was from the first episode of MST3k I ever saw... actually the Mystery Science Theater Hour. I laughed continuously for the entire hour; I was so worked up by each commercial break that it took me the entire break for me to calm down and stop laughing, and then the break would end. By the time the hour was up I felt drained, and ill. To say I felt I had stumbled upon something special would be an understatement.

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I remember that segment well, thanks for posting it.

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Which episode is that from? It actually doesn't ring any bells.

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EARTH VS. ~~SOUP~~ THE SPIDER

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I may not have seen that one...

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I think I have it. I'll have to dig it out.

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No worries. The Internets are full of Things.

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I did just explain how I laughed until I felt sick, right? That is literally true. Now granted I was, oh, I think I was a high school sophomore then, and my body was going crazy with the hormones and such, but still -- MST3k was truly awesome.

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wizardru.livejournal.com

Ahem. 4 minutes in.

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melopoeia.livejournal.com

see, you should show me this episode instead of the other ones you and Mike always suggest. Because the only episode I ever watched that stuck in my memory had that "Stevie Nicks workout" line, because well, women in leotards tend to stick in the mind.

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editswlonghair.livejournal.com

You have a full-blown stove in your office? Huh. Most I've ever had at places I've worked is a microwave and a toaster oven.

I did not have that toy, but I played with my dad's soldering iron a few times and hijinx ensued. I was a bit of a pyro as a child. ;)

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